Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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