Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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