so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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