where am i from again
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
