I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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