she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
