I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
