He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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