When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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