My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
