I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
