Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was confusing and full of hummus
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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