she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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