Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
