Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have tasted many bathrooms
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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