So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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