Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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