I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
