Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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