Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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