why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize