i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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