Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
