its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
