Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You can't motorboat a personality
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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