I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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