First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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