How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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