24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
