I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
