We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
