drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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