she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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