Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
