Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
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