Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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