But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Alive.
So much puke
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
