Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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