Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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