normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
