I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
