This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
