I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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