I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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