oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
