If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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