i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its liver damage thursday
Randomize