You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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