just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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