I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just googled if crying burns calories
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
