I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
