just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
