There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
