I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize