I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
