i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
