haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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