you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
