I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
