I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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