dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
