based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
