His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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