he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
