The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
