i don't plan on having that self control this summer
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
third nipple confirmed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
