Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize