I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
