it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize