That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
