I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I bet he comes in French.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
