I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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