its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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