Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
