do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
